Jennifer Guo

郭家嘉

writer & photographer

Not Any Child

2024/12/19

I am not an Ivy child
Up the wall. Lush, loved, envy of all.

I am not an Envy child
At the brim. Content, collected, untouched by green.

I am not a Green child
Deck with dew. Fresh, fed, teemed with muse.

I am not a Teemed child
Full of fullness. Shrunk, stumped, nothing to harness.

but a world of myself.

It was the ocean, right?

2021.3

After we bid adieu,

I thought it was going to be

Forever

Until waves rinsed over

My sand-covered bone,

Flushed upon the moon-lit beach.

I thought it was going to be,

Eternal

Until the brilliant brightness

Up in the sky

Dims,

And myriad stars

That shines like pearls

Perish.

Waves of sadness enveloped me,

Hastened me to the waterfront

Where we met.

To the ocean.

In which we fell,

The rosy, amorous water.

Night, tied a black ribbon to my eyes,

Stumbled my footsteps,

Darkness, therefore, I dive.

Only senses of hearing arise,

They were still wide.

I got lost in the archive

Of memories, in the maze,

My heart was razed.

I thought I heard the tides.

No, it was the wicked wind,

That lies.

Was it?

Was it the ocean?

I swore the water,

Would be right by my side.

The sound was clear and right,

As if I raised the seashell to my ear,

The waves rise

And fall.

But no, they were the jeering leaves,

With the sneering winds,

Those peeves.

They deceived me.

In desperation, out stuck my hands,

Helplessly swinging,

Trying feel——

Now it was the beach, right?

The ocean, right?

The place we first met,

Right?

I felt the winds,

Galloped across me,

Some howls left behind.

Tripped and groveled,

My feet betrayed me,

Yet my torso worshipped the

Bone-chilling coldness that embraced me.

It was forever-steadily flowing,

Was mouth-gaping salty.

Tasted like the liquid,

Slowly secreting from the crack of a heart.

I wonder if it is the seawater

Or my tears.

No Title

Jennifer 2023.3

imjenniferguo@outlook.com

Clear sky overhead

River winding by

Blue waltzed through memories,

Weaved together scattered tears

And broken laughter.

Kindergarten,

Kids

Unleashed their imagination onto

Indifferent paper.

Animated it with their innocent minds,

Dressed it up like their wildest dreams

With

Crayons,

A waterfall of colors,

Down pour by the teachers.

Children,

Stepping over one another,

Running,

Snatching,

Hovering over their favorite colors,

Eyes on prey like

Eagles,

Gliding over the mountains

Flying under the blue rays of sunshine.

The teacher walked passed her,

Could not hold back her laughter,

Saying to her colleagues,

“Kid loves blue so much, she painted the sun blue.”

Primary school.

First day,

She introduced herself,

“My favorite color is blue.”

Proudly,

Pirate claims to find the treasure,

Turquoise silently glimmers under the

Parched stare of

“Pride,

Is the reason why

You lied.”

Boy behind her poked,

With malicious speculation,

“You only wanted to be

Special”

Gift from a friend,

Ceramic dog statue.

She held it in her hand,

Brought it everywhere.

Until the day,

Crash,

Hand colliding face.

She slapped the boy

Real

“Hard

To believe there is violence in my class!”

Teacher said in disbelief,

Asked her to stand up,

To calm down.

Slowly she rose

Up

like an exclamation mark.

The sneer behind her,

Knight killed the dragon

Protecting its beloved treasure.

High school,

Iris bloomed first love

Tenderly,

Sunshine scintillated a bold stare,

A curled lip,

And the flit of a

Heart

Cramps of joy on her first date.

The swooshing winds seemed to

Become motionless by the silence.

Nervous shivers and a jumping heart,

the perpetual motion

Machine,

Always the endless repetitive

Movements

Of eyes.

A blink.

Eyes opened,

An azure stare,

A beginning of a fall.

She would allow herself to

escape the reality temporarily

drown in the hug,

lay in the arms and just stare

at those watery blue eyes with

Tenderness and love full to the

Brim

Of passion is the start of a

Conclude.

Stares strayed, speech stuttered,

Blank, bland, brief explanation

without because.

Grip loosened,

Curtain fell.

Eyes closed.

No curtain call.

Simply Apart

Who are you in my life, truly?

A figure who slipped in quietly and left like sand through fingers.

We were two phone screens

and a Pacific Ocean apart.

Until Mom texted me

on a regular Wednesday morning.

Now we are simply

Apart.

I confess,

I don’t think about you often.

Do people constantly ponder the blood coursing through their veins,

Or the air filling their lungs?

See?

That’s the point.

Do you remember when we last met?

During Covid,

your retirement home locked down,

"No visitation" and "No contact" signs in bold.

It was sunny day in the garden.

Do you remember a girl standing outside the metal fence,

waving?

The nurse wheeled you over,

sneaking past the security camera.

The girl touched your hand through the fence.

We both felt like animals trapped in different sides of the zoo.

Your mouth opened,

closed,

opened,

closed.

Not a name, not a sound,

Steel-cold silent.

Your skin, pale as white jade,

age spots like afternoon shadows,

eyes glazed over,

a black go piece unmoved.

Were you waiting for the game to end?

  • 2024.7